Monday, April 21, 2008

April 21: Rosemary-Proscuitto Corn Cakes

Dear God, It's Me, Molly.

Lord, I have a confession to make to You. It's really bad. I mean, really bad.

I hate Rachel Ray.

What's that, God? You hate her too? Really?

I understand. Have a nice day, God. Amen.

It's her total failure to almost ever do anything interesting with food. It's her catering (so to speak) to the lowest common denominator. I mean, everybody's got to eat, but her uninspired cooking, her kindergarten-style dialogue, and her stupid little Rachel-Ray-isms just make her into one of the worst things that I can imagine happening to TV.

But maybe not the worst thing to happen to food, however. I mean, remember who I am--the girl who likes to work late? The girl who really wants dinner on the table in a hurry? Yeah, that's me. Rachel is stale and phony and every time she says "delish" or "E.V.O.O." or "stoup," it makes me want to turn off the television and throw away the remote, but here's the thing: her food is on the table in a hurry.

So I own ol' girl's "365: No Repeats" cookbook, and I've actually made a few things that could have been worse. The Park City chicken, for example--a cashew chicken dish made with chipotle peppers and maple syrup--is delicious. So is the artichoke and walnut pesto pasta.

I get it, okay? Not everything has to be made from fresh organic locally-grown groceries. Sometimes just getting dinner on the table is enough. I think that Rachel sets the bar too low sometimes; I just can't help it. But she does some interesting things with food in this book. I don't care for chicken sausage, as this recipe suggests, but they're served them over rosemary-proscuitto corn cakes, which sound heavenly to me. I thing these sound wonderful with a brined, grilled pork chop, or a sauteed chicken breast, and a big green salad. I think they sound nice as an appetizer even.

So Rachel Ray: I don't hate you, sweetheart. I just think you're happier than any human has a right to be. I think you could stand to tone down all And you don't have to pretend to almost drop everything you're carrying every time. It's a TV show, Rach. Drop it and they'll just reshoot it. Stop trying to be interesting, you're not.

But these corn cakes sound pretty dandy.

Rosemary-Prosciutto Corn Cakes

2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 8 1/2 oz. box Jiffy corn muffin mix
1 egg
3 tablespoons rosemary, finely chopped
4 slices prosciutto, diced
Black pepper

Mix muffin mix with melted butter. egg, milk, rosemary, proscuitto, and a few grinds of black pepper.

Rub a non-stick griddle with a little butter or spray with non-stick spray. Form 4 to 6 small cakes, and cook until golden on each side, turning as needed. Keep warm, repeat with the rest of the mixture. Serve.

1 comment:

Neen said...

I was giggling the entire time I was reading this post because I have that conversation about Rachel Ray with God (or my partner, or the television, or any unfortunate bystander within earshot) all the time, and b) I hate to admit that she can ever ever be right about anything. But you did. You're a better person than I. Maybe I'll try harder.

I just hope I never run into her face on Monday mornings. That might be more than I can handle.